How To Grow Your Face
Big faces used to be frowned on - plus, people with big faces were generally to be seen frowning out from within their massive faces! Can you believe that we used to live in such blinkered times? Well, nowadays having a big face is actually seen as a bonus in some circles - for instance if you're the singer in a top-selling rock band, and you're playing in a stadium, but all the big screens by the side of the stage are broken so you need to get a big face - and QUICK! - so the people at the back of the stadium can see your massive singing face without straining their eyes. How can you achieve a big face quickly?
How can you achieve a big face quickly?: There are many different pieces of advice given out to people who want big faces. Here, we sort through them and let you know if the advice is true or false.
Suggestion 1: There is nothing you can do! "You can work out a lot to try to get rid of the flab, but that won't enlarge it. It all depends on genetics!" This is bollocks. There's loads you can do. Next!
Suggestion 2: Artificial enhancement: "If you just want your face bigger and nothing else, use padded flesh-coloured pads (there are several emerging companies who have natural looking pads). Surgery is an option if you have the money and know the risks." This is partially true, although you should go for a natural approach if you can stand the training and time involved. Surgery looks great, but you stand the risk of losing your face!"
Suggestion 3: Face exercise "Stand on your tiptoes pushing up and down untill it burns. Stand against the wall while doing it, with your face rubbing against the wall. My other suggestion is that you eat some junk food and do it. But you should work out your stomach - the weight should then all go to your face!" This is sound practical advice, and although you'll end up with a potentially unlimited sized face, your face will end up very red and tender if you have textured wallpaper.
Suggestion 4: There is still nothing you can do! "Why don't you spend more energy getting a good education. That will get you a lot further." What a prick!
Send us money to learn our actual, foolproof methods for growing your face real real big!
How can you achieve a big face quickly?: There are many different pieces of advice given out to people who want big faces. Here, we sort through them and let you know if the advice is true or false.
Suggestion 1: There is nothing you can do! "You can work out a lot to try to get rid of the flab, but that won't enlarge it. It all depends on genetics!" This is bollocks. There's loads you can do. Next!
Suggestion 2: Artificial enhancement: "If you just want your face bigger and nothing else, use padded flesh-coloured pads (there are several emerging companies who have natural looking pads). Surgery is an option if you have the money and know the risks." This is partially true, although you should go for a natural approach if you can stand the training and time involved. Surgery looks great, but you stand the risk of losing your face!"
Suggestion 3: Face exercise "Stand on your tiptoes pushing up and down untill it burns. Stand against the wall while doing it, with your face rubbing against the wall. My other suggestion is that you eat some junk food and do it. But you should work out your stomach - the weight should then all go to your face!" This is sound practical advice, and although you'll end up with a potentially unlimited sized face, your face will end up very red and tender if you have textured wallpaper.
Suggestion 4: There is still nothing you can do! "Why don't you spend more energy getting a good education. That will get you a lot further." What a prick!
Send us money to learn our actual, foolproof methods for growing your face real real big!